This photograph created in 2021 is from a series of self-portraits called 'A study in Self' which has been ongoing since a few years. Around 2016-17, I found myself to be going through a serious mental health crisis, navigating through depression, anxiety and being diagnosed with OCD because of some resurfaced childhood trauma. Soon enough I had to be admitted to a rehabilitation center and put on medicines to recover, and couldn't really see myself living my life beyond my early 20s. As I was homebound during these phases, Self-portraiture came to me as a way of trying to find stillness and meaning within all the chaos of my life through these years. It became a means of reconnecting with myself and my body and mind. It was kind of a reassurance of my existence when I felt that I had lost myself. One such photograph among many self-portraits is this one, which was viscerally and spontaneously created depicting the stillness and serenity that I deeply craved inside.